2 am and I’m still awake, writing a song
If I get it all down on paper, it’s no longer inside of me,
Threatening the life it belongs to
And I feel like I’m naked in front of the crowd
Cause these words are my diary, screaming out loud
And I know that you’ll use them, however you want to
-Anna Nalick, Breathe
Writing. Blogging. Words down on “paper”. Life’s stories, shared. I have loved to write, for as long as I can remember. Not for a particular theme, or audience, usually the audience was me, because it was all penned, in my head. The topics run the gamut.
There has always been something sacred about my writing (and singing, we’ll get to that later) that, for many reasons (we’ll also get to later) I kept largely to myself. Like the lyrics above, I was too scared and nervous to put them out for others to see. The world judges people enough…I was largely uninterested in having something so intimate to me live someplace that allowed for (as my husband would put it) the “keyboard cowboys” to have their way with it. And with it, I would drum up all the (WHOLLY unappreciated) feelings that come with that judgement, wrapped in the head and heart of a young school girl. Boo.
Turns out, I’m not that young school girl anymore. THANK GOD. (And if I could reach back, you all know I’d pull her by the hand and share a thing or two about what “worry” does for anyone, in general.)
So, through some soul searching over the past year or so (doesn’t it almost always start there?), some nudges (not really gentle, don’t you love that kind?!) that have come my way, I have made a choice to put my life, my largely shared stories, out here for you all, my readers.
Because what does sharing our stories do? The greater good can glean insights. Nuggets of wisdom. Maybe pick up a life hack. Please, please, let’s laugh. Empathize (a lot). Find meaning on a winding road that some days feels like we’re going it alone. But we’re not, and just like the person next to you, we keep moving. Let’s move together.
What I’ve found is, life for me largely falls under one of these three headers: Movement. Meaning. Melody.
I penned those a while back and anytime I gave thought to a blog or a website name. I also thought of a lot of other themes or threads. Those have stuck. They are largely the lens through which I find joy and what I tap into when I need to work through the suckola parts of life. (They also happen to be the initials of my three favorite people, so there’s that, too.)
It may be a party of about 10 readers, that largely make up my immediate friends and family, but it is a party of beautiful people here, nonetheless. Of readers – – and livers, and doers, and movers, and shakers, and melody makers (yeah you, I see you over there in the car next to me girl, belting out Andra Day’s “Rise Up” at the top of your lungs).
So, I’ll be here. Sharing my stories. Probably sharing some stories of those whom I love (who shall remain nameless, like the “Rise Up” singer), with the world wide web of readershipdom. (I’m looking to be the gal who comes up with a new word for Merriam Webster. Pass it on.)
And thank you. If you’ve spent time here, I appreciate it. I’ll talk more later on the “why” – the heart of how this really kicked up, what I wrestled with to get here, but thanks for starting with me. I look forward to more of you, of us, of our threeMlife.
Humbly,
KXF (more on the ‘X’ later as well)
Love this so much ❤️🌈💥